Pillow Talk
by The Thunderbird
Summary: A collection of random, yaoi, sometimes post-sex, sometimes post-first-time-sex conversations. Also, they are funny. Hahaha.
1. RanKen

A/N: Just a random bit that popped into my head.  I find it amusing.  We don't usually think about our  yaoi-ed characters having such conversations, but you'd have to assume it happens.  I think Ken's decently in character and while Aya may seem a little off, just remember he's saying everything in his normal angry Aya voice.  My purpose was merely to entertain, so please enjoy!

***

"Oh God."  Ken sat straight up out of bed in the middle of a certain summer night.   Aya, to whom he had been lying next to, opened his eyes lazily, hoping the interruption to his sleep would be short.

"Oh God!! I'm _gay_." Ken gasped.  Aya sighed and closed his eyes again.

"I suppose so."

"But… this means I have to act like it!  Oh no."  He ran his fingers into his hair nervously. "…Oh no!  Does this mean I have to obsess over my hair?  I mean, I like my hair but I don't really care…. OH NO! Can gay people play soccer?"

"I'm sure there are a lot of gay soccer players, Ken."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just trying to shut you up."

"This is important, Aya.   I mean, I never thought I'd be gay.  I guess… I-"

"You certainty liked the sex."

"…..Hehehe. I guess I did."

"Go to sleep, Ken."

"….Aya! …Oh no, Aya!"

"What."

"Does this mean I have to check out other guys?"

"I'd really prefer you didn't.  I suppose I'm your boyfriend now."

Ken's eyes widened. "…._Boy_friend!"

"Partner, then?"

"That's even worse!"

"Lover?  Soul mate? Better half?"

"…Those are ok."

"Come here, then, and be my soul mate and go to sleep."

"….fine." Ken resumed his place in Aya's arms.

There was a short silence.

"….Aya?"

"What now."

"Do _you_ spend a lot of time on your hair?"

"…..define 'a lot'."

"..Ok, yeah you do."

"Fine."

"That means you're uke."

"Fi- wait.  No, I'm not."

"Yes you are.  The uke is the more fe-"

"Ken, remind me again how we had sex tonight. Where were you?"

"Under yo- Oh yeah."

"Can we sleep now?"

"Yes.  ……Aya, why do you want to sleep so bad?"

"Because we have a shop to run tomorrow. Just like every day.  And we might have a miss-"

"Oh God.  We own a _flower_ shop.  How gay is that?  I mean, Omi's flaming and Yohji…"

"Don't try to tell me Yohji's gay."

"Maybe he flirts all the time because he's covering up!"

"Then why does he read Playboy?"

"Because he's covering up."

"So why does he _hide_ them?"

"Because he……… oh.  How do you know about them?"

"I make it my business to know my teammates' secrets."

A tense silence.

"…Do you know... about…"

"..Yes, I know about Mr. Fluffy."

"…Can he come-"

"No."

"But-"

"Ken, why do you need a stuffed comfort object when you have a flesh one?"

Ken sighed.  "Because.. I.. ..Well. I suppose your body is comforting enough for me."

"Hmm.. that's pretty gay."

"Hey!" 

"Shhh." Aya kissed him gently.  "Don't think of it as being gay; think of it as being in love."

A happy smile burned on Ken's face. "..ok."

"Goodnight, Ken."

"Goodnight, Uke."

"….what."

"Just kidding."

***

A/U: :D… love me.


	2. BradSchu

OMG OMG! SHE WROTE MORE. OMG I THOUGHT SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T OMG!!

Alright, first of all, calm down. Breath, honey. In and out, very good. All set? Ok.

So I'm not CONTINUING the last one, I'm making a NEW SITUATION. With the same sort….of.. ..atmosphere.  I'm going to turn this into a collection of one-shot yaoi conversations.   Not the same pairings, not the same sort situations.  Some will be really short. Bu it's all Weiss.

This one is something that came to me in about 5 minutes. And I loved it.  BradSchu. Do enjoy.

*

            "Brad, I love you."

            The breakfast table became very quiet.  Nagi dropped a chopstick. Farfarello missed as he tried to stab himself with a fork. And Brad lowered his Japanese newspaper very slowly.  While all available eyes were on Schuldig, he looked only at Brad.  Everyone stared for quite some time.  Then Brad raises his paper again, said: "Okay," then took a drink of coffee.

            "Do you love me?"  Schuldig asked, almost lazily.  Putting down his cup and swallowing, Brad nodded but did not look up from his paper.

            Satisfied, Schuldig continued his meal.  Farfarello accurately targeted his arm.  But Nagi, poor Nagi was so confused and so stunned that he could not bring himself to pick up his chopstick nor each much for the rest of the day.

End.

*

Yes, that's it. 


	3. More BradSchu

A/N: Finally, dear friends, I came up with another one.  It took me a long time, but here it is.   You see, they have to just… _come_ to me.  This one came at about 1 in the afternoon as I was laying in bed trying to wake up. 

            It's BradSchu, AGAIN, don't give me that look young lady, EVERYONE loves BradSchu.  Oh, yes, they do.  Except maybe Yohji who wouldn't care.  But that doesn't matter.  He shouldn't be using the internet for fanfictions. He should be using it for porn, like a REAL MAN.

            A note to all the Yohji/Omi people: First of all, why are there so many of you? Do I attract Yohji/Omi people for some reason? And if so wh- Ooooooohhhh….. The Talk did it.  I get it now.  Anyway, I hate Yohji/anyone male.  Sorry.  I'm strictly canon on him. 

            HOWEVER: Because it took me so long to write this, I have decided on a contest.  You guess what anime I'm watching right now (and it's not Weiss) and I will let you pick a pairing for me to do.  And then I'll go stare at the ceiling until I think of something for them. Yes, you can even do Yohji/Omi. I'll figure it out… somehow.          

            Ok, I've talked too long, here is the fic.

-----------

            "You know, I was thinking about the two of us getting married."  Schuldig began suddenly as he sat at the kitchen table across from Brad.   Unfortunately, Brad _hadn't_ been thinking about this subject and, startled, he knocked his cup of coffee off the table and onto his leg.  Swearing, he picked it up and put it back on the table and made his way to the sink to catch the possibly permanent brown stain on his pure white pant leg.  Schuldig continued talking as if it hadn't happened; resting his chin in one hand and staring into space. 

            "And I was thinking which one of us would be the 'husband' and which one of us would be the 'wife'.  And it's really a tricky subject because we'd never agree but one of us would _have_ to be something different than the other.  I mean, you can't expect someone to go into a hospital and be like, 'I have to see John!' and the lady says 'Are you related to him?' and the guy says 'I'm his husband'.  'His' and 'husband' sound pretty weird next to each other, but I guess if a guy walked in a said he was John's _wife_, that might be even weirder.  Then again, we don't go to hospitals, do we?  We just die."

            He glanced over finally at Brad.  And while Brad was an extremely clean man, he was still a man, and had not the sense to take _off_ his pants to clean them, so there was a long wet spot on his knee.  But it was a clean wet spot and that's what mattered.  Now he was squatting, using a paper towel to clean the coffee that had hit the floor.  He seemed to know that Schuldig was looking at him and decided he was done and so he said: "Don't ever say any of that ever again" in his usual firm, but not especially angry tone of voice.

            Schuldig considered.  He stood up, watching Brad, and then walked towards the hallway with his hands behind his head.  He stopped before he exited, his back to the kitchen. 

            "You know, I think I will say that "ever again" if I want to because I like watching you clean things," He turned his head for the last word, grinning with purely delightful cruelty. "…wife." 

            Brad was left feeling slightly aroused, mildly angry and possibly a little intimidated.  But most importantly, he was left with a need to assert his masculinity.  So he ignored his usual policy of "Let him come to me" and marched out of the room, bursting through the door.

            -----------

Send me an e-mail with your guess! If you get on AIM, I might give you hints. MIGHT.  And also if I've told you what I'm watching then you are disqualified. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO TRY, TERRA. And then make me do Brad/Aya. Too bad. :DDDDDD


End file.
